


Ransom

by n_v_c_r



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, Non-binary character, Other, Self-Harm, pretending to be a character to cope? Hahahhhahaah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26238757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n_v_c_r/pseuds/n_v_c_r
Summary: Peter Nureyev had a lot of names. Those identities each brought something else to the table- Rex was good with humor, Duke was good with keeping himself calm. What happens if the identity isn’t the healthiest?
Relationships: Juno Steel/Peter Nureyev, Juno/Peter
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	Ransom

**Author's Note:**

> TW- This is a vent, and it has graphic descriptions of cutting and suicide references.  
> I didn’t edit this so,,

Peter Nureyev had many names. Duke Rose. Rex Glass. Monsoiur Dauphin.  
Perseus Shah. Each name served a different purpose- Glass was good for a laugh, Rose was good for keeping his composure, Dauphin was good for anger. But not one alias, not one identity knew how to deal with how Peter felt right now.  
He honestly didn’t know what set him off. All he knew was that he had a death grip on his knife, hovering over his thigh. His skin was very clear- he made a point to take care of it, as it was easier to fake bad hygiene than it was to fake a good one. But he could barely breath, even though air was coming in and out of his lungs.  
Nureyev dropped the knife, staring at his perfect skin. If he could only just… find a different way, a way that wouldn’t show.  
Although…  
Peter ransom didn’t show his worth, quite yet. Nureyev took a deep breath and closed his eyes, letting the identity take over, letting the freezing cold shock of somebody new wash over him.  
Ransom opened the foreign eyes, looking around. What had Nureyev been doing? He signed, staring at the knife and grabbing it. Right. That’s what he had been doing. Ransom slashed across the thigh, deep and as quick as he could go. The second he did, however, he dropped the knife, knowing he had gone too far. He wouldn’t bleed out- but he definitely needed stitches, at the very least. Possibly medical leave until it healed.  
He gasped for breath, letting the tears finally fall. Ransom was gone. He scrambled for something to catch the endless waterfall of blood, putting pressure on it as he limped to Juno’s door.  
He knocked before he could tell himself better, knowing he just needed someone who knew what to do. Juno opened the door sleepily, staring at Peter- it was certainly a disheveled sight, seeing as peter wasn’t wearing anything but his robe and underwear- and seeing the bloody rag shoved against his leg.  
“Ransom, what the hell happened?” He snapped, pulling Peter inside.  
“I’m sorry- It wasn’t- it wasn’t me, it was- it was Ransom-“ he stuttered as he tried to explain, feeling the fragments of Rex take over.  
Juno made him sit down, getting the first aid kit quickly. “Peter Nureyev. Listen to me. You’re here. You’re peter nureyev.youre a master theif, on the carte Blanche.”  
Nureyev nodded.  
Juno started to try and get the cut somewhat manageable. “Fuck, Nureyev, why did you do this?” He asked, obviously panicked  
Nureyev just stared. Juno, of all people, should know the reasons why. The scars along the detective’s wrists might be old, but they were still there. Nureyev cursed himself for coming here, and moved to get up.  
Juno dragged him back down. “I’m getting Vespa. I don’t- she’s the doctor.”  
Nureyev didn’t like it, but he nodded, still staring at the cut on his thigh.  
Y’know, you deserved it he heard his mind say. You’re a monster, Peter. Disgusting.  
Nureyev closed his eyes, pulling Duke from the deepest corner of his mind. Duke’s identity was warmer, and he relaxed a little as he felt the mask slip over.  
Duke opened his eyes, looking at the cut. “Oh, dear. That isn’t nice.”  
He sat there, holding pressure to the wound as he waited for Vespa and Juno to return. But, after what seemed like an eternity, they still hadn’t come.  
Duke frowned, wrapping the wound up enough so that he could walk. He was slow, as the cut kept opening and bleeding more and sticking to the bandage, but he kept on until he was knocking at Buddy and Vespa’s room. The door opened slowly, like those horror movies. Nobody was in there.  
Nureyev- no, duke- kept on, going to Rita and jet’s room. Nothing. It was like a ghost ship. Even as he was walking through the halls, he felt as if the ship was getting smaller, and he felt Duke slip away as the panic of Rex Glass took over. Glass stared around, sitting against the wall and putting his head between his knees as he tried to collect himself. Fuck. What if they were all gone?  
Glass scratched at his arms, ignoring the slick feeling that covered his hands as he did. He didn’t have the energy to look.  
“Ransom?” He heard someone say. He looked up, seeing Vespa and Juno, looking worriedly at him. Glass stood, stumbling back. “Get away from me,” he said quietly.  
“Get the fuck away from me or I swear to god I’ll kill you.” Glass said, trying to ignore the thoughts of Mag.  
Vespa looked at Juno, then put her tools down. Juno stepped forward, holding Glass’s hand gently. “N- ransom. It’s me. Everything’s okay.”  
Glass stared at Juno, letting him pull Nureyev off to the medical bay.

-

They had to sedate Nureyev, as he kept struggling to get away. It was too familiar to bear. Every time Mag found out about Nureyev doing something stupid like this, he… never took it well. But eventually, Nureyev woke up, Juno asleep in the chair beside him. His leg was bandaged- Jesus, the cut must have been worse than he thought. What he didn’t understand was the bandages all around his arms.  
He pulled at them, wincing as they pulled against his skin. Once he did, however, he immediately regretted it. Thin, pink lines stood parallel on his arm, some much deeper than others. There were scratch marks and burn marks all over it as well, and one, jagged and deep cut that would have killed him if he hadn’t gone to Juno.  
Nureyev stares at it for a little longer, remembering what he had done. Right. It hadn’t just been one. Of course it wasn’t. He could handle one- but not this many. He was surprised he managed to do anything with this.  
Nureyev let his eyes water, putting the bandage back and letting himself yell- just a little- in anger? Frustration? Disappointment? He didn’t know.  
Juno woke up with it, bleary-eyed and surprised.  
Nureyev shoved his head back down into the pillow, finally giving in to his body and crying. He tried to ignore the look on Juno’s face as he watched, unable to help. Nureyev hit his head, his fist balled up so tight his knuckles were white. He hit himself again and again, at least until Juno pulled his arm away.  
“N-Ransom! Stop!” Nureyev didn’t stop. He struggled against Juno, ignoring the cuts that were reopening with the activity. He shoved Juno as hard as he could, not caring whether or not he hurt him. Nureyev took that moment to run out, into the bathroom and locking the door as quickly as possible. He knew he was bleeding again, he could feel the stickiness of the bandages.  
“Ransom! Open this door!” Juno was banging against the bathroom door, trying to get it open. Nureyev pulled at the doorknob, grabbing the nearest thing- it happened to be a small ID card someone had left in there- and unscrewed parts of the knob. Once he had it off, he stepped away, knowing that Juno would have a hard time getting in.  
But it was silent. Juno wasn’t banging on the door, no worried whispers to Vespa, not even footsteps. Nureyev calmed down, just a bit, as he listened to the silence. He sat on the counter, trying to stop his brain from telling him over and over to do it again. That he deserved it. That he needed to hurt, that he needed to punish himself for what he’d done.  
He knew, rationally, that it was bullshit. He hadn’t done anything that he felt was morally wrong. So why did he want to punch the wall? Why did he want to break his bones, to open his wrists again and again and again until he wasn’t there to open them?  
His head shot up as he heard footsteps- Buddy’s. She knocked on the door softly. “Ransom? Are you okay?”  
What a stupid question. “Just peachy, Captain,” he said, although he could tell the shakiness in his voice was too obvious to hide.  
She didn’t show that she noticed. “Can you come out? I won’t touch you- no one will touch you. Just open the door, okay?”  
He stared at the knob. “I can’t open it.”  
“Why not?”  
“I broke the doorknob,” he said quietly, then started laughing. “I broke the doorknob! Oh, shit.” He kept laughing, up until they turned into sobs. When they did, he shoved his arm into his mouth to muffle it.  
-  
Juno was silent, watching Buddy try to coax Nureyev out of the bathroom, feeling like he screwed up. But he couldn’t have just- he couldn’t have just let Nureyev hurt himself like that. Just the memory of it made him want to bust in there and hold Nureyev until they were both okay.  
Buddy gestured for him to go get Jet- he usually was the one that fixed Juno or Vespa’s messes, as they could both be… violent, to the walls and doors and other parts of the ship. He nodded, hesitating before he left to go get him.  
-  
Nureyev scratched at the bandages. Why does it matter if you leave? You’re going to kill yourself after you finish the next job. You should just leave yourself to starve in here- let the crew deal with your body afterwards.  
He hit his head against the tile hard enough to make his ears ring, trying to get himself to shut up. “Shut up!” He hissed, grabbing and pulling at his hair.  
“Ransom? What’s going on in there?”  
Nureyev hit the door, hearing the small gasp as Buddy moved away. “Go away.”  
-  
Buddy moved away so Jet could work on the knob. They tried to be quiet, but there was only so much he could do before they had to let Nureyev know.  
-  
He could hear the screws and the rattling of the metal. Nureyev looked around, realizing he was trapped.  
No. If you couldn’t find a door, you had to make one.  
He looked at the vent, knowing it was certainly a horrible idea, but… no matter what people thought of his stature, he was a very small person. He unscrewed the vent, ignoring the pain as he tore a nail or two, and climbed inside, just out of view.  
-  
Juno was holding his breath, hoping to God that Nureyev’s silence didn’t mean what he thought it meant.  
The door creaked open, and Juno walked forward to see- nothing. Absolutely nothing. The vent cover was taken off, a small trail of blood showing where he’d gone, but… he was the only one small enough to fit inside.  
Buddy sighed, thinking. “Ransom. I know you can probably hear me, okay?”  
There was the sound of metal bending.  
Rita had come by now, frowning at everyone else’s approach. “Missus Buddy, Ma’am? Can I try?” She asked quietly. Buddy looked to Juno, and he nodded.  
“Mista Ransom! Sir! I’m kicking everyone else out- I promise it! Swear it on my gramma’s grave! You don’t have to come out of the vent, just talk! That’s all!”  
As she spoke, Rita shoved everyone out, closing the door behind them.  
Nureyev peeked out, ignoring how much blood he’d lost. Everyone seemed to be gone. He crawled out of it, careful to make sure everyone was truly gone. It sure seemed that way. He got out of the cramped vent, not having the energy to stand up.  
Rita had started rambling about some stream as she grabbed the bandages and stitches, very nonchalantly. “And so then- THEN! The monster growled at the thief- it was so cool! The thief stole the monster’s baby, if I was the monster I’d be mad too! So she took the baby to sell off-“  
Nureyev tried to listen, but his head hurt and he didn’t have the energy to even stand as she took the bandages off.  
He slammed his head against the wall one more time, this time hard enough to render him unconscious.

-

This time, his wrists were tied- not like he couldn’t get out of them, but he knew it was just to make the others feel better. He looked around, seeing only Vespa in the medical bay. She looked over, looking just… sad. She had the lights off, only a warm orange light instead of the usual brightness of the room.  
“You gave yourself a concussion,” she said, walking over to check on the bandages. “And you tore a lot of your stitches.”  
He ignored her. “Just get it over with.”

-

A couple weeks later, he was back on his feet and ready to get back to work. Unfortunately, Buddy refused to let him. She confined him to his and Juno’s room, and had him promise he’d leave the door unlocked and surrender any sharp objects to the living quarters. He could keep some, but only in Juno’s room- she gave him a baseball bat to calm his worries.  
Nureyev didn’t like it, but he agreed to her terms, as long as she promised that nobody would bring it up. She said she’d do her best, but there was only so far Buddy could control.  
That proved itself when he saw Juno, searching throughout Nureyev’s room. He slipped under a mask- Rex, he assumed it was. He filed away the anger for a later date, and just asking what Juno was doing.  
He looked up like a deer caught in headlights. “N-Ransom!” He stood up straight, shoving his hands in his pockets and immediately regretted it, as he had taken everything sharp and put them in it.  
Nureyev rolled his eyes. “As much as I appreciate it, dear detective, I don’t need your help in this.”  
Juno stared at him for a second, before looking away. “Yes. You do. This seems to be your… first time, I guess. I’ve been down this rabbit hole before, and its difficult to climb out of. I’m not letting you lose yourself to this, Nureyev.”  
Peter sighed. “Juno. Please. I’m not an idiot. I won’t do it again.”  
Juno hummed, “So you won’t mind if I take the razors?”  
Nureyev huffed. “Fine. Whatever. It’s not like you’ve found all them anyways.”  
Juno looked around the train wreck of a room, knowing Nureyev could have them stashed anywhere. “I know.”  
The thief picked at his fingers. “I… I’m sorry, Juno. I truly am. I just-“  
“Save it. I’ve said this speech before to almost everyone I’ve been close to. Even if you’re being genuine, I know its… you can only be so honest. So tell me the truth or save it,” he cut Nureyev off.  
“Oh. I… In that case. I’m not sure what to say. I just want… I just want my head to stop, and it only stops when I…”  
Juno nodded. “I know. It’s constant, right? And its easier to ignore when it first starts, but it gets exhausting, right?”  
“Couldn’t have said it better myself,” he muttered.  
Juno walked to the doorway. “My room?” He asked, and Nureyev nodded.  
Nureyev laid out on the bed, sighing. “Come here,” he said. “I’m exhausted.”  
Juno crawled on the bed as well, looking slightly surprised when Nureyev put his head in his lap. Before long, Nureyev was asleep, shifting ever so slightly, but definitely far gone. Juno couldn’t help but stare at the scars, the scabs and pinkish white skin marring Peter’s body. He trusted Peter to know how to hide them, if he needed, but it still hurt to see. Juno had never really understood that he wasn’t the only one, not until this had happened. He wondered how everyone else on the ship dealt with their problems. It was a depressing thought, but one that comforted Juno, in some way. He wasn’t sure why.


End file.
